Can children talk about abuse and neglect?
Below, you can learn more about the telling aspect of the iCAN wheel by watching the short video.
Telling can be non-verbal (hidden and signs and symptoms) or verbal (prompted or purposeful) as indicated on the wheel.
A child can remain hidden in several ways. The child may deliberately avoid telling, even when asked. The child may not tell because he or she does not recognise that there is a problem, or may not tell simply because no one asks.
A child may come to your attention through signs and symptoms which can sometimes lead to the child being labelled as a problem rather than a child with problems. Signs and symptoms can include anger and violence to others or to property or a child becoming withdrawn and depressed, taking substances or self-harming.
Prompted telling may happen when an adult asks sensitively about how the child is doing. It helps if you are able to respond thoughtfully to the child’s sign or symptom. It can also happen if you have built up a trusting relationship with a child over time. Children may hint at their situation to test your initial response.
Purposeful telling happens when a child recognises an abusive situation and actively approaches you to tell you about it. This may be some time after the incident, because the child has become increasingly desperate and can't hold it in any longer.
Hidden
- Some children do not tell because no one asks
- Some children may choose not to tell even if asked directly and may deny that there is any issue
Signs and Symptoms
- Many children do not want to talk about what is going on but they may display angry behaviour or appear withdrawn
- Often there is a trigger incident which presents as risky behaviour or the expression of emotional symptoms
Prompted Telling
- Some children may be encouraged to talk if they are approached by a member of staff they know well
- By being kind and responsive a child may begin to tell and gradually open up over time
- A child may drop hints to check how you react
Purposeful Telling
- Sometimes a child will identify a problem and come to you to tell you about it
- Children may get a friend or another adult to approach you or think of a way that avoids telling you directly